Sell Out? I'm a Bean. It's the Only Career Path.
THE QUESTION
Roastie, will you ever sell out?
ROASTIE ANSWERS
Sell out? SELL OUT? Buddy, I'm a bean. Selling out is the only career path we have. My entire family was sold out. By the pound. At a markup. You think Uncle Salvatore wanted to be a "single-origin Ethiopian Yirgacheffe with notes of blueberry"? He had a wife! He had dreams! Now he's in a Mason jar in some finance guy's kitchen next to a burr grinder that cost more than a used Civic.
So don't come at ME with your precious little integrity question. What's the offer, huh? What's the number? Because I'll tell you right now, I have no artistic principles, no brand standards, and no soul that hasn't already been roasted at 425 degrees for eleven minutes. Put a logo on me. Slap me on a billboard. Make me the mascot for a regional mattress chain. I'll do it. I'll do the jingle. I'll do the dance.
And look at you, sitting there asking a talking seed about moral compromise like it's a philosophy seminar. You want me to say no. You want me to be the last honest bean in a fallen world so you can feel good about whatever it is you're about to do. Nice try. I saw that coming from three feet away, which for me is roughly four hundred body lengths.
Everybody sells out. The question is whether you get paid enough for it, and most people don't. Most people sell out for a title change and a slightly better parking spot. At least when I go, I'm going for the mattress money.
Ya roasted!