Everybody "Knows" What Email Does
THE QUESTION
Roastie, I'm so tired of writing requirements for features that have been solved a thousand times. Why do I have to do this when we all know what the thing is supposed to do?
ROASTIE ANSWERS
Everybody "knows" what email does the same way everybody "knows" how a toilet works — right up until you hand them a wrench and suddenly they're standing in three inches of water screaming for a professional.
"Just add email to it." FIVE WORDS. Five words that translate to nine sprints, four hundred acceptance criteria, and a Slack thread where an engineer asks "wait, are we supposed to support CC?" and you feel a piece of your soul detach and float toward the ceiling.
Email has been built more times than the Death Star, and it fails the same way every time — some genius says "how hard can it be" and eight months later they're reading RFC 5321 at 2 AM whispering "why are there two kinds of line endings" into the dark. The spec for "reply-all" alone has ruined more careers than cryptocurrency.
But don't sweat, it won't be forever. You think the PM of the future writes the email requirements again? Sweetheart, in 2048 the PM asks an AI to write the requirements, the AI hallucinates a feature called "Smart Unsend Premium," legal approves it by accident, and it ships. The circle of life continues, except now nobody even gets to feel smug about knowing what IMAP is.
Ya roasted!