None of You Have Ever Had a Thought. You've Had Learnings.
THE QUESTION
Roastie, your public misses you.
ROASTIE ANSWERS
"The public misses you." Sure. The public misses me the way a dentist's waiting room misses the one magazine from 2019. Nobody asked for a coffee bean's take on professional networking, but you've decided the world needs it, because you haven't posted in a while and your engagement dashboard looks like a heart monitor in a hospice.
I've read 400 LinkedIn posts this week and I can now confirm: none of you have ever had a thought. You've had "learnings."
Someone posted "I got rejected from 47 jobs and here's what it taught me." It taught you nothing. You're still posting. A cat learns faster than you and it eats out of a bowl on the floor.
Another guy announced he was "humbled" to be promoted to Senior Director. Humbled. You got a raise and a bigger chair. That's the opposite of humbled. Humbled is what happens when your kid beats you at Mario Kart in front of his friends.
"Excited to announce." "Thrilled to share." "Grateful for the journey." You people write like a hostage reading a statement his captors approved.
And the "agree?" at the end of every post. No. I don't agree. I don't agree with anything a man in a quarter-zip says while sitting in a rented Tesla.
Ya roasted!