Hours earlier the Saudis bombed a Yemeni prison — seven reportedly dead, one a child. That moved nothing; $1 a barrel moved the world. 🦆
Proof That Knowing More Doesn’t Help
It's International Literacy Day, which you're honoring by skimming this on a phone. The UN throws it every year, and every year the comment sections vote no. It's also National Ampersand Day, a whole observance for the squiggle that means "and" for people too busy to type three letters. We celebrate literacy and its leading cause of death on the same morning.
Anyway — the news.
Hours earlier the Saudis bombed a Yemeni prison — seven reportedly dead, one a child. That moved nothing; $1 a barrel moved the world. 🦆
$20 billion, dollar for dollar, no expiry date. Canada brought a ledger; he brought caps lock and a January auto-tariff threat. 🦆
Roger Marshall is an OB-GYN — his entire trade is pulling people safely into the world. The hospital he co-founded ran the machine on the other side: sue the patient seven hundred times over, bolt on 18% interest over bills as small as $101. Loan-shark math with a notary. Miss one debtor-court hearing and his own lawyers ask the judge for the handcuffs. His lawyers. Asked. For the handcuffs. Eighty-one arrests — that's not collections, sweetheart, that's a debtor's prison with a gift shop. His office says he "spent decades caring for patients regardless of their ability to pay" — read that again, slower: that's not the defense, that's the charge sheet. Regardless of their ability to pay: treated, billed, sued, cuffed. The full continuum of care, womb to warrant. 🦆
Mute the mic and a second one reportedly picks up the shift; the only fix researchers found is unplugging it from the internet. 🦆
Two-thirds of Seoul's crude runs through that strait, and parliament still gets to vote on self-strangulation like a zoning ordinance. 🦆
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."— Clarence Darrow
It's ready-to-eat — nothing between you and the listeria but reading comprehension — so check lot 263311US and toss it. 🦆
23,126 dead in 2023 — the liver was the agreed sacrifice, but now it's colon and breast in the young. Less is better; none is best. 🦆
Linked to a third fewer cardiac events in one cohort. Obesity plus apnea? Ask your doctor — your body's nightly inside job has an FDA-approved getaway car. 🦆
Child-data broker Meta's rules only tighten if rivals match them — a matching-gift drive for basic decency. California says it'll just keep suing everyone anyway. 🦆
Jan. 1, 2027, through the canal that waters Phoenix and Tucson. The fix "will cost billions" — a number that used to convene hearings. 🦆
Eons of unannounced sucker punches, then seven hours' warning and a harmless flameout over the Indian Ocean. The sky blinked first. 🦆
Older models took months to build it; the fix was admitting hot rock goes weak. You took thirty years to develop a personality. 🦆
Half-built blood vessels, mineralized mid-weld — same repair crew patching your gym knee got stiffed on the invoice 66 million years ago. 🦆
The flashes resemble fast radio bursts, deep space's great mystery — so the cosmic whisper may just be a corpse heckling an empty room. 🦆
It closed in at 3 km a day for a month — slower than a mall walker — so Joe watched doom coming for weeks and could only keep being terrain. 🦆
That's the firehose. Check the fridge for imported pork products, treat the third drink like a subscription you keep forgetting to cancel, unplug the television that's been taking notes on you, and glance at the sky occasionally — apparently the delivery window is seven hours. Tomorrow is National Teddy Bear Day, when grown adults hug a fabric mammal and invoice it as emotional regulation. It shares the calendar with National Wiener Schnitzel Day, so the schedule is comfort object, breaded veal, no further questions.
Until next time —
Ya roasted!
— Roastie