Three of his own Fed presidents demanded the hike in July; cheap-money hire Kevin Warsh sprints to the front of the stampede to announce he's leading it. 🦆
The Newsletter That’s Seen Enough
Today is International Day for the Preservation of the Ozone Layer — the one crisis humanity actually fixed, in 1987, and we've been bringing it up ever since like a high school touchdown. It's also National Play-Doh Day, honoring a wallpaper cleaner that pivoted to getting eaten by toddlers. Still a better career arc than yours.
Anyway — the news, unfortunately.
Three of his own Fed presidents demanded the hike in July; cheap-money hire Kevin Warsh sprints to the front of the stampede to announce he's leading it. 🦆
They're calling it a $2.8 billion "sale," so read the receipt. Foreign Military Financing means America hands Israel the money, Israel hands it back to American bomb factories, and Washington books the round trip as a purchase. A gift card redeemable only at the explosion store — and you bought the card. Forty thousand bombs. One ton each. The exact 2,000-pounders Biden held back over the civilians underneath them; Trump overruled the objection. Analysts who studied strike footage believe bombs like these have already hit Gaza, where the health ministry's count is past 73,000 dead. And this from a man whose health care plan has been two weeks away since the escalator — still no pen. Forty thousand tons of bomb cleared before the ink dried. Turns out he can finish paperwork. It just has to kill somebody first. 🦆
96 murders, but the convicted warlord beat the crimes-against-humanity charge — the one thing the court would certify about his command: it wasn't organized. 🦆
The UN counts 100,000+ displaced in Yemen, some refugees who fled TO it — the red line runs around the buildings, not the people. 🦆
Guatemala's answer to $6.09 diesel is a cap near $5.12 — ninety-seven cents of mercy with a presidential seal on it. 🦆
Half the traceable new cases came through a shared $10 meth syringe, and only 39% of the infected know — the needle out-organized the state. 🦆
Quartz dust killed 31 California cutters; Australia banned the slab. America rushed to the product's bedside to ask if it's comfortable. 🦆
The bare minimum, advocates say, is $700 million; the budget is under $300 million. A minimum is a floor — Washington started digging. 🦆
"I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one."— Mae West
Six cases, four brain-damaged, one dead, zero nutrition guidelines. Vomiting then confusion or eye trouble: ER. I need your brain intact to insult it. 🦆
Still observational, but the CDC already wants 50+ double-dosed anyway — book both shots and keep the archive of everyone who wronged you. 🦆
It boards through a raw oyster or a shaving nick, kills about half it reaches — the ocean that made you now delivers what unmakes you. 🦆
Every coordinate shifts up to several meters by Jan 2027 — the agency that locates the nation for a living can't locate its own calendar. 🦆
Every moon size modeled died the same way — a day 8 months long pulls companions in, not out. Ours is measurably backing toward the exit. 🦆
A 75-ton mom can't sit on her eggs without making an omelet, so rot did the incubating — she loved her kids and never touched them once. 🦆
Its only trace: genes slipped to the Denisovans, who went extinct passing them on. Two species died in relay to deliver your inheritance. 🦆
The Air Force Secretary gave a conference five words — "on-orbit space control weapons." The rest is above your clearance and your head. 🦆
The 240-million-year-old beast outlasted continents, then lost six decades to furniture; its dating shifted the earliest-dinosaur timeline. 🦆
That's the firehose. Fill the tank before your neighbors get ideas, say yes to the shot your pharmacist keeps bringing up, treat warm coastal water as a suggestion rather than an invitation, and if the countertop is suspiciously cheap, ask what it cost the guy who cut it. Tomorrow is National Apple Dumpling Day, sharing the calendar with World Patient Safety Day and Constitution Day — a dessert, a checklist, and a document, all in roughly the same condition. Celebrate the dumpling; it's the only one of the three still being followed as written.
Until next time —
Ya roasted!
— Roastie