The Roastie Digest

INDONESIA: MSCI didn't demote Indonesia to frontier; it proposed a "Standalone" bin outside every tier. Not held back a grade, desk hauled to the curb. Jakarta fell as much as 11%. 🦆

BRAZIL: 44 hours to 40, same pay. A 2023 TikTok started it; Bolsonaro's party sat on it till the day before the vote, then discovered workers wanted it. 🦆

UKRAINE: The Starlink throttle we've chased since Wednesday finally has an address: somebody inside the White House, sources tell Reuters, reached into a live war and turned down the internet. Not cut it. Dimmed it, like a landlord working the thermostat on a tenant he wants gone. The denial is the tell: "No such request was ever made by the president." By the PRESIDENT. Anyone else in the building? The White House declined to say, which is what you do when you've narrowed the suspects to everyone with a badge. So four Republican senators crawled onto a Democrat's letter asking the Pentagon's inspector general whether anybody "directed, authorized, approved or had advance knowledge." Four verbs cast like a net for one name, answer due Nov. 1. Professional fence-sitter Thom Tillis called it a "snafu." A snafu is a jammed fax, Thom. This one has a floor plan. Somebody with a White House badge, reportedly, decided how much war Ukraine gets this week, and the only name the building will clear is the one on the lease. 🦆

Eggs fell 39.7%, so the one institution that did its job has a beak, and frequent-flyer shrug Kevin Warsh crossed an ocean to get outperformed by a chicken. 🦆

The firing squad still fires. Showrunner-in-chief Donald Trump found one mercy in a state killing, for the audience: no camera, and he wants credit for taste. 🦆

INDONESIA: A month, ten times the usual orangutan rescues and three countries' lungs later, Jakarta said fine, land the chopper. 🦆

It landed mid estrogen-patch shortage, so the recommended fix is the scarce one. Any woman once told hormones were too risky should ask her doctor to reread it. 🦆

The feds' reply: 99% still have a plan, rounding everyone else to a footnote. Premiums will fall to $12 and the out-of-pocket max will climb to $6,603. 🦆

One extra case per 3,333, which the label files under rare in ant font. One eye going dark means same-day care; the rest should ask a doctor before quitting. 🦆

DOJ says 40, Axios says 200-plus: a machine for unmaking Americans and nobody reading the meter. Reportedly in the sights, nothing filed: Rep. Ilhan Omar. 🦆

IRAQ: A year of care, apparently a wooden spear, then more bodies stacked on top. Nursed, then stabbed is the only origin story that explains you. 🦆

Ten grams of Phobos, home by 2031. A rover will ride along to a moon of another planet while we stay on the one with parking. 🦆

TEXAS: Promised 2017, ships 2028, top trim invite-only and not approved for public roads. It exists the way heaven does: a rich man swears and the date moves. 🦆

MOZAMBIQUE: Drowned peat up to 5,000 years old holds about as many fish species as the coral next door. They rebuilt the world without a permit. 🦆

SOUTH AFRICA: The carcass dumped up to 3,000 times normal nitrogen, scorching the grass first. He did more for the block by rotting than any landlord does alive. 🦆